If you run a business, chances are you’ve had to face one of those conversations that makes your stomach turn: addressing underperformance, dealing with conflict between employees, or raising concerns about behaviour. Most business owners don’t look forward to these discussions and many delay them. But here’s the thing, avoiding a difficult conversation doesn’t make the issue go away. More often than not, it grows into something bigger, impacting morale, productivity, and even your bottom line.

So, how do you handle them well? The key lies in preparation, structure, and follow-up.

Why a conversation guide helps

Think of a conversation guide as your roadmap. It doesn’t mean the discussion will be scripted, but it gives you clarity on:

  • The purpose – What is the issue and why does it matter?
  • The facts – What evidence or examples do you have (not opinions)?
  • The outcome – What do you want the conversation to achieve?
  • The support – What help, tools, or training can you offer?

Clarifying these points reduces emotion and keeps the discussion focused. It also gives the employee confidence that they’re being treated fairly and consistently.

A framework for the conversation

Here’s a simple structure you can use:

1. Set the scene

  • Choose a private space and start respectfully.
  • “I want to talk with you about something important that impacts the business and the team.”

2. State the facts

  • Stick to evidence.
  • “Over the past month, you’ve been late 6 times, which has affected opening the store on schedule.”

3. Explain the impact

  • Link it to the team, customers, or business.
  • “When the store isn’t open on time, it frustrates customers and puts pressure on the rest of the team.”

4. Invite their perspective

  • Ask “Can you help me understand what’s going on from your side?”

5. Agree on a way forward

  • Set expectations and support.
  • “From next week, I need you here by 8:30 am. If something prevents that, please let me know in advance. Would a change in roster help?”

6. Summarise and follow up

  • Recap what was agreed and schedule a check-in.
  • “Let’s review this again in two weeks to see how things are going.”

Why follow-up matters

Many leaders nail the first conversation, but fail to follow through. Without follow-up:

  • Commitments slip back into old habits.
  • Employees think you weren’t serious.
  • The problem re-emerges, often worse.

Follow-up shows you mean business, while giving the employee accountability and a chance to demonstrate improvement.

Foundations first (even if informal)

You don’t always need a formal performance management policy to start. What matters is consistency and fairness. Begin with:

  • Clear job expectations.
  • Documented examples of issues.
  • Notes from conversations (dates, topics, outcomes).

These ‘foundations’ mean that if you do need to formalise things later, you’re already halfway there.

How this plays out

Imagine you own a café. One of your baristas has been arriving late, and the rest of the team is starting to complain. Instead of ignoring it, you use the framework.

  • You set a time for a private chat.
  • You outline the lateness and its impact on the morning rush.
  • You ask what’s happening, and discover their childcare arrangements have changed.
  • Together, you adjust their start time slightly, and agree they’ll swap shifts with another staff member when needed.
  • You agree to review in two weeks.

The result? The issue is addressed, the team sees you’re proactive, and the employee feels heard rather than punished.

Final thoughts

Difficult conversations will never feel easy but with preparation, structure, and follow-up, they can be effective and constructive. As a business owner, having a simple guide to lean on helps you stay calm, clear, and consistent.

Remember – it’s not about confrontation, it’s about clarity, and clarity builds better workplaces.

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